I strongly recommend this new book for leaders, parents, and young adults What Are You Waiting For? There are huge questions about sex most, if not all, our children and young adults are pondering and few people are talking about. Here’s a clip explaining the author’s purpose in chapter 1, “My intention is to be relevant and to bring some practical clarity to the sadly common temptations our culture presses at you.” She openly discusses the issues of porn, masturbation, purity, impurity, and the big mystery – “How far is too far?” But there’s one central message in the book that is a must have!
The author is Cedarville University graduate, Dannah Gresh, frequent speaker and contributor at True Woman and Revive Our Hearts ministries. She’s well trusted, faithful to the Bible, but most of all clear on the message of the gospel and God’s grace dealing with topics where there is so much shame and failure. She openly discusses her own personal struggles. She also runs Pure Freedom ministry which helps moms guide preteen daughters into biblical sexuality and marriage and counsels those who have been broken by failure. Confusion and brokenness are very common. That’s why I’m recommending this book (for those under 17 only if they are dealing with brokenness in these areas).
I’ll list some of the chapters here for you to see and then give you the one, central, must have message the book gives.
Chapter 1 – Let’s get real: Parents, leaders, everybody, there’s a ton of confusion and likely failure going in in the lives of those you love. Get real, pay attention, and point the way with grace.
Chapter 2 – Clearly confused: Dannah tells her own story of how easily a godly young lady with biblical training can so quickly become overcome by confusion.
Chapter 6 – Friends with benefits: High school and college campuses are full of people using sex recreationally thinking there is no downside. Then very broken people emerge looking for direction.
Chapter 7 – Relational love: God’s design in sex and marriage was created to maximize the human, relational needs inside every person. Understanding this brings sanity to the confusion.
Chapter 8 – The lesbian question: There is a path that ladies go down toward homosexuality thinking it is the only choice they have for a fulfilled life. It won’t lead there. And there’s a grace-filled path back home.
Chapter 9 – Sex is not a solo sport: Masturbation is very common among boys, girls, and adults. There is a biblical, grace-centered way to pursue purity and godliness. Very helpful chapter!
Chapter 10 – Our porn problem: Porn is extremely pervasive even among young children including many girls and young ladies. Dannah gives good guidance for parents and leaders including warnings and ways to recover. She also addresses the question, “Should I dump my boyfriend if he struggles with porn?”
Chapter 12 – The line: Few Christian teens enter single adulthood with a clear understanding of what the Bible says is “going too far.” Dannah gives good insights on this.
The most important thing Dannah gives in her book is God’s purpose for sex. There’s much more in the sixteen chapters that expresses very well what the sex-drive is all about. It is all about God’s call on the conscience of every person to find their deepest longing for closeness and relationship in Him. (And I’m not going to spoil it for you here.) All that I highlighted above make the book a must read. But this one thing, “The one thing no one ever tells you about sex,” makes me say every young lady and every mother should read the book and talk about it.
(My recommendation is for those ages 17+ unless they are recovering from failure in these areas.)