There is plenty to be said about the degradation of society and how our children are being taught ungodly things about gender and sexuality by the voices of the culture all around us. So I would like to offer this bit of help to parents. By all means don’t allow the culture to be the only voice teaching your children about this very important matter. Step up and be the one to teach them what God says about sex.
This is a very important reason to have your children with you in regular worship gatherings worshipping by your side, in KidzZone (children’s discipleship), and student discipleship for teens. They need to be discipled by the church and God’s word not only taught by the world. And yes this takes intentional, committed, persistent effort. So I want to give a bit of help in this area.
A very simple and helpful suggestion is to order this series of books and read them with your children at home. Teaching this very delicate matter is best done by moms and dads in the sanctity of their home. My wife, Jeni, and I used these books and others to teach our children about sex starting at an early age. We did not do this perfectly and failed in many ways. For example, we did not start early enough and we should have read these books more than one time. We didn’t engage in open conversations about these things enough especially in the pre-teen and teen years. But despite our many failures we saw God’s grace fill in the gaps and the church body provide discipleship in this area when it was much needed.
I recommend that you get and read this book right away to help you learn how to teach your children about sexuality: How & When to Tell Your Kids about Sex by Stan & Brenna Jones. Yes, it is uncomfortable. Yes, it feels weird. And, yes, you must do this. Likely you (parent) were not taught well about sex by your parents, right. Just imagine how helpful this would have been to you. Step up and do this for your children!
Then read the following, age-appropriate books aloud to your children. It’s just that simple. Don’t know what to say about sex to your kids? No problem! These authors have done a superb job putting it all into writing and pictures, all very appropriate and biblically sound. Just open to page one and read the words. No matter how uncomfortable it feels, just read the words. The book will do the hard part.
I recommend starting at the 3-5 year old level. Get started early and build the bridge of openness and trust that will be needed when the children become teens. If you build the bridge now, by God’s grace, it will be there for you to use in the future. PLEASE do not think it is best to just wait until your children are 15 or 16 years old to talk about this. By that time they will have been already taught all the wrong things by the world and may not be willing to listen to you at all. Start young! If your children are already a bit older and you’re just getting started, consider starting with the age 3-5 book. Sure it will be under their level but it will help open the door slowly and build the comfort level.
And there’s one more reality check I try to always give in these conversations. ASSUME your child will encounter pornography by age 5 or 6. No home is porn proof! Though you may do your best to set safeguards and restrictions (and you should work hard to do those things) you need to embrace the reality that porn is going to get through. It could be a friend that introduces it to your child or a new device that hasn’t been restricted or a new app that goes around the settings or a child that hacks your passcodes and goes searching for porn. You need to accept the reality that pornography is going to find your child at an early age, boys AND girls. This is all the more reason you should read these books, have these talks, and guide your children toward godly living in this area.
Order these books and get started right away!
The Story of Me by Stan & Brenna Jones (ages 3-5)
Before I Was Born by Carolyn Nystrom (ages 5-8)
What’s the Big Deal? By Stan & Brenna Jones (ages 8-12)
Facing the Facts by Stan & Brenna Jones (ages 12-16)